Lulu - a space oddity
“I think there’s something wrong with your cat,” said Mathew as his friend Riley came into the living room with a jug of coffee. “She was acting really weird. She lay down in front of me, and her head kept twisting like she was having some sort of seizure. She’s run behind the sofa now.”
Riley
didn’t look overly concerned. “Oh, that’s normal. Lulu’s always acts a bit
crazy when we have friends over. Sarah keeps asking me to pick up one of those
cat-calming aromatherapy things, but I think they’re a con.”
“No, really, I think you should take a look. I’d
get her checked out at the vet.”
The
two friends watched as Lulu squeezed herself out through the gap between the
sofa and the armchair. She paraded up and down in front of them, her green feeling
eyes unblinking and staring and her fluffy brown tail waving from side to side.
It was almost as if she was trying to hypnotise them.
“Lulu,”
called Riley. “Come over here and get your belly rubbed.”
But
instead of trotting over to Riley as she usually did, Lulu froze. She gave an
angry hiss, which almost startled the men from their seats. Then, as if pushed
over by an unseen force, Lulu slumped over onto her side, rolled on her back,
and began shaking her head from side to side. Riley opened his mouth to speak,
but no sounds would come out. Lulu’s
head seemed to blur with the force of the motion. It was like watching a speeded-up
horror movie.
“See,
that’s what she was doing before,” cried Matthew. “I told you it was weird!”
Riley
leapt up and bolted for the door. “I’ll get Sarah. You keep an eye on Lulu.”
Matthew
edged his way around the shaking cat. “I’m not staying in here with that.” He hurried
after Riley, slamming the door so hard behind him, he heard the frame crack.
They
went into the kitchen where their two wives, Sarah and Ruth, were sitting at
the kitchen table with Riley’s young son.
“Sarah, we need to take the cat to the vet now,”
said Riley.
Sarah
put down her potato peeler and looked up. “Can’t Lulu wait until I’ve made Daniel’s
lunch? You know he gets grouchy when he’s hungry. What’s wrong with her?”
Riley
shook his head. “I don’t know. I think she’s having some sort of fit.”
“I
hope it’s not serious,” said Ruth, who was trying to entertain Daniel by waving
a toy rabbit in his face. Daniel grabbed hold of the rabbit and threw it into
the nearby sink. He leaned back in his highchair with a look of triumph on his
face.
Sarah
sighed. “I’d better go and see. Lulu seemed fine this morning, although she
didn’t finish all her biscuits. Where is she?”
“In
the living room” said Riley. “I think I’d
better get the cat box out before you try and pick her up, though. She’s freaked
out Matthew and me.”
Sarah
chewed the corner of her lip. “That doesn’t sound like my Lulu. Ruth, keep an
eye on Daniel for a minute while I go and take a look. And take that potato
peeler out of his hand, will you?”
“Sure.
We’ll watch him.”
“Be
careful,” said Matthew. He moved away from the door, in case Lulu escaped from
the living room. He shuddered and muttered, “flea-ridden thing,” under his breath.
“I’m
not sure if you should…,” said Riley. But Sarah had already headed out to the
hallway.
From
the safety of the kitchen, the friends listened out for the creak of the living
room door as it opened. There was a short pause, interrupted by a cry from Sarah,
followed by a high-pitched yowl that echoed through the hallway. The living
room door slammed shut again, and they heard rapid, retreating footsteps.
Sarah
burst into the kitchen. Her breath came in short, sharp gasps, and her peachy
complexion had ripened. “I found Lulu standing
in the middle of the room,” she panted. “As soon as she spotted me, she started
hissing like a wildcat and hurled herself towards me. I nipped out of the door
before she could reach me, but I felt her body slam into the door like a juggernaut.”
“But
why is she so aggressive?” said Ruth.
Sarah
shook her head. “I don’t know. You don’t think the vet will have to put her down,
do you? What if she attacks Daniel?”
“You’re
getting a bit ahead of yourself, aren’t you?” said Matthew. “She might have a urine
infection. It happened to my gran once.”
Riley
snorted. “Did your gran’s head shake like a mad thing? Did you watch it go all
blurry?”
“Er,
no, I didn’t.”
“Then
I think it’s unlikely it’s a urine infection.”
“Matthew’s
only trying to help,” said Ruth. “Will the vets even be open? What with the
covid.”
Sarah
went over to Daniel and picked him up out of the chair, hugging him to her. “Whatever
do you mean Riley? What was going on with
her head?” Daniel wriggled at the tightness of Sarah’s grip and began to cry.
“Probably
a trick of the light” said Riley. “The vet will sort her out. They’ll be open
for emergencies. I think Lulu counts as one. Would you guys look after Daniel? The
vet’s only five minutes in the car. It shouldn’t take too long.”
Ruth
smiled. “It’s no bother at all. To be honest, I’d rather take on Daniel than that
cat.” She went over and took him from Sarah. “It’s alright, Daniel. Your Auntie
Ruth will take care of you, won’t she.”
Riley
went off to fetch the cat box from under the stairs, while Sarah abandoned her potatoes
and fetched out a jar of baby food from the cupboard.
“Stop
fussing, we’ll manage,” said Ruth, settling Daniel back in his seat. “I’m sure
the vet will put your mind at rest. He’ll probably just give her some injections.”
“Can
you come with me a minute, mate?” said Riley reappearing with the cat box. I
think it’s going to be a two-man job catching Lulu.”
“Wish
me luck,” said Matthew as he walked reluctantly back to the living room.
***
“Is
your hand still hurting?” asked Sarah as they drove the short distance to the
vets.
Riley
winced and pulled his sleeve down to conceal the stripe of congealed blood decorating his left hand. “I’ll be ok. It’s only a scratch.”
“But
it looked nasty. Shouldn’t you have put antiseptic on it before we left?”
“I’ll
be fine. At least her claws missed Matthew. You should have heard him when she
lunged at him. He screamed like a girl.”
“Everyone
on the street must have heard him yelling, and it didn’t help when Daniel
decided to join in. You sure you got your mask?”
“Yes,
you’ve got spares in your bag, haven’t you? What’s Lulu up to now?”
Riley
turned around to look at the cat box strapped onto the back seat. Lulu was banging
against the side of her box, a hard-rhythmic thump. He wrinkled his nose up in
disgust as an acrid smell filled the car. Thank goodness Sarah had stuck a newspaper
on the bottom of the box. “Lulu’s going to knock herself out if she keeps
banging about,” he said. “Actually, it might be a good thing.”
“Poor
Lulu. I’ve neglected her lately, what with Daniel so restless. Should I pull
over?”
“No,
we’re almost there; it’s the next turning on the left.”
Morden
Vets was the first unit on the block, and they managed to find a parking space right
outside. Lulu seemed to have calmed down by the time they fetched her out of
the car.
“She’s
catatonic now,” quipped Riley.
“Don’t
bother with the jokes. This is my sweetheart, we’re talking about,” snapped Sarah,
putting on her mask and peering through the glass doors. “The waiting room
looks empty, thank goodness.”
They went in, and a receptionist, whose makeup suggested she
missed going to clubs, greeted them with a wide smile. “It shouldn’t be too long
to wait,” she said. “We’re still not busy; people feel safer indoors.”
At
the sound of an unfamiliar voice, Lulu, jolted into life and restarted her assault
on the cat box. Riley checked the fastening on the front, and as he did so, Lulu
stuck out her paw to swipe him. “Watch out; she’s quite feisty,” he said. “We’re
very glad you’re open.”
The
receptionist grinned. “We were ‘emergencies only’ for a few weeks, but it’s nice
to be back full-time, to be honest.”
“Yes,
I’m sure,” said Sarah. “But do tell the vet to be careful, won’t you. My husband
has already been scratched. It’s so out of character. Lulu’s a big pudding
really.”
“Mr
Ellison’s used to it. You should see some of the animals people bring in. He
got bit by a snake once. Can I take down Lulu’s symptoms?”
“Symptoms!
I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Riley. “I mean, it was kind of unnatural.”
Before
Riley could elaborate further, a middle-aged little man in a white tunic appeared
from a side room. “Who’ve we got next, Milly?”
“It’s
us, I’ll come through,” said Riley. Mr and Mrs Martins.
“Sorry,”
said the vet. “We’re not letting anyone else in the consulting room at present.
Social distancing and all that. I’m Mr Ellison, by the way.” He bent down and
peered into the grill of the cat box. “Now, what’s been happening to this little
one?”
“This
is Lulu,” said Riley.
At
the mention of her name, Lulu, yowled like a banshee. Riley almost dropped the
box as she lunged forward, butting her head against the grill like a battering
ram and struggling to escape.
“Hmm,”
said the vet, pursing his lips. He stepped back. “Extreme aggression, I’m
guessing. Is she usually like that?”
“No,
normally she’s a soppy little thing,” said Sarah. “We don’t know what’s causing
it.”
“This
is going to sound a bit odd,” said Riley. “But earlier, her head twisted back
and forth so fast it appeared to blur. I found it quite terrifying to watch.” For
a second, Riley’s eyes blinked in quick succession as if he was trying to wipe the
image from his brain.
“Here,
let me take it,” said Mr Ellison. As he did so, Lulu hissed like a python and
glared at him.
“It’s
been a bit of shock, really,” said Riley. “Are you sure you can manage?”
The
vet’s legs buckled under the weight of the gyrating box. He flashed Sarah and
Riley a nervous smile. “I might call a veterinary nurse to hold Lulu while I
examine her, but I’m sure she’ll be fine. We’ll probably need to take some
blood to get to the bottom of it, though. Wait here. I’ll try not to be too
long.”
“Thank
you,” said Sarah. “Now you be a good girl for the vet, Lulu.”
“Hiss.”
Mr
Ellison carried Lulu into his consulting room, and Sarah and Riley went over and
sat at the opposite end of the waiting room reserved for cat owners. Pictures of
cats glared down at them. There was no escaping those keen, bright eyes and sharp
white teeth.
“Maybe
Lulu ate something that upset her?” said Sarah.
Riley shrugged his shoulders.
They
sat in silence until…
“Arggh!
Get off me!” A shriek pierced the silence of the waiting room, and Lulu burst through
the examination room’s door and back into the waiting room, hissing and spitting.
Only Lulu was no longer an average-sized tabby. She had grown to the size of a large
Alsatian. She paraded around in a circle then stopped in front of the entrance,
yowling and baring her teeth.
“Lulu?”
cried Sarah, grasping hold of Riley in terror.
Milly
got up from her desk and backed up against the wall. “Mr Ellison,” she called. “Are
you ok?”
Sarah
and Riley gasped as Mr Ellison staggered out from the consulting room, blood
dripping from his fingers and a scratch down the left side of this face. He stumbled
forward and reached out for the edge of the reception desk.
“Grab
her,” he croaked. “For God sake, don’t let her escape.”
Lulu
coughed, and then she coughed again. Her throat shuddered and twitched, and she
arched her shoulders back.
“I
think she’s going to be sick,” cried Riley.
Lulu
wasn’t sick. Instead, she coughed a third time, and a gigantic lump of fur, the
size of a cricket ball, flew from out of her oversized mouth. Another furball
followed, and Sarah and Riley watched in horror as the furballs rose in the air
and propelled themselves like rockets towards Mr Ellison and Milly. The first
struck Milly in the face pressing against her mask as if trying to burrow
through it. She managed to grab it before it got any further, hurled it to the floor
and stamped on it with her boot.
Mr
Ellison was not so lucky. He had removed his mask in the consultation room, so
the flying furball hit him square on the lips, catching him unawares. The
furball forced its way into his mouth, and soon he was choking. He crumpled to
the floor just as Lulu coughed again, and a third furball travelled in the
direction of Riley, but he kicked it away like a football.
“Help
him!” shouted Milly as Lulu sprang forward and landed on Mr Ellison’s chest,
Now, she was tearing at his clothes with her claws.
Riley
grabbed a bag of cat food from a nearby display. He threw it at Lulu and, despite the size of her, managed to knock her off Mr Ellison’s chest. She turned,
hissed and took a leap towards him.
Riley
managed to sidestep Lulu in time. He aimed a kick at her head, striking her on the
back of her skull. For a moment, she appeared stunned, but then seconds later, he
was convinced she would lunge again. Instead, she turned and ran headfirst
towards the glass door. It opened automatically, and Lulu streaked away in the direction
of the main road.
Riley
dashed over to the injured vet while Sarah tried to comfort Milly, who was crying
behind the desk. With concerted effort, Riley managed to drag the furball from the
back of Mr Ellison’s throat. Mr Ellison lay unconscious and barely breathing,
but he was alive.
“Call
an ambulance,” said Riley. “I’m going to go out and look for Lulu. You stay with
Mr Ellison until the paramedics arrive.”
Sarah
started crying, “Don’t go out there; it’s too dangerous”.
“I’ve
got to. What if she decides to head home?
“She’ll
never get through the cat flap. But please don’t go. She almost killed someone
and….”
The
sound of gunshots interrupted Sarah’s plea. “What the..?”
Riley
pressed his face to the window. “It came from the road. I can see armed police.”
He looked up as a police helicopter swooped overhead, and the air was filled
with the sound of sirens. Riley darted out of the vets, and keeping low, he ran over
to a tree near the road. Creeping around the side of the trunk, he had a clear
view down the street.
Two
police cars blocked the road, and he saw two marksmen taking aim. Riley gasped
when he saw their target. Three cats, grown to an unnatural size, ran like cheetahs
in a bid to escape a hail of bullets. As the cats disappeared into the distance,
Riley recognised the cat at the front with the big fluffy tail. It was Lulu.
Riley
heard a further round of gunfire, and then the shooting stopped. The marksmen
got up, climbed back into their cars and drove off in the direction of the
cats. The helicopter flew off, and the street became eerily quiet.
Riley
rushed back into the vets. Mr Ellison still lay on the floor, covered with
Sarah’s jacket. Milly was sat down next to him, sobbing quietly, and holding
his hand. Mr Ellison didn’t speak, but his eyes were open.
“I
think he’ll be ok,” said Sarah. “The ambulance is on its way. But what about
Lulu? Did they catch her?”
“I’m sorry, Sarah,” said Riley. “Lulu didn’t make it.”
***
Back
home, Ruth and Matthew were treated to all the gory details of the trip to the vets.
After several glasses of wine, the friends crowded around the TV, expecting to find
reports of an outbreak of giant murderous cats dominating the headlines. To
their amazement, there wasn’t even the slightest mention.
“Surely
that would have made the news?” said
Matthew “Come on. There’s nothing on social media either.”
“Maybe
it’s too soon to report it,” said Sarah. “By the time we got back in the car, Morden
was deserted. It was all over in a flash.”
Matthew
frowned. “But you said there were other cats. Surely someone else would have
reported that? Maybe you should report it?”
“Yes,
but who is going to believe us?” said Riley. “I hardly believe it myself. People will think
we are mad.”
“But
the vet. Surely, they will believe him?” said Matthew. “You said the
receptionist saw it too?”
“What’s
anyone going to do, though. We can’t tell the police they’ve already sorted it.
I’m inclined to leave well alone.” said Sarah. “What’s Riley’s work going to
say?”
“But
it’s the story of the century!” cried Matthew.
“Sarah’s
probably right,” said Ruth. “Who’s going to believe it? If there’s nothing mentioned
in the news. Did you see anybody when it happened?”
Riley
shook his head. “No, no one even came out of the corner shop opposite.”
“But somebody must have posted something about
it,” insisted Matthew? What about the gunfire?”
“Wait,
look,” said Ruth pointing at the TV. “There is something on the local
news.”
A
shot of Morden flashed up on the screen, and a reporter announced, “An incident occurred
in Morden today. Armed officers were called to arrest a man who was shooting at
cats with an air rifle. Several animals were killed, but no members of the
public were involved. The man, who has a history of similar incidents, is now in
custody.”
Riley
stood up. “What man with an air rifle? They’re making it up!”
“Are
you surprised?” said Ruth. “The more I think about it, why would anyone report
it? Covid’s bad enough without people worrying about killer cats. Somebody will
pay off the vet and the receptionist. Get them to say they were attacked by a
dangerous dog. After all, let’s face it, what you are telling us doesn’t really
sound possible.”
“Oh,
it’s possible, alright.” snapped Riley. “We saw it. What if the cats have caught
the covid and the virus has mutated?”
“We’d
better be off home,” said Ruth getting up. “I’m sorry about Lulu; I know how fond
you were of her. We’ll probably never know what really happened.”
“Sometimes
it’s best not to know,” added Matthew.
“Perhaps your right,” sighed Sarah as she gathered up a well-chewed cat toy from the floor. “I’ll miss her dreadfully, though.”
***
And
so Riley and Sarah tried to forget about the incident. But a few days later, as
Sarah hung out her washing in the garden, her foot banged into something in the
grass. The lawn desperately needed a cut, so she hadn’t noticed it before. As she
tapped the object with her sole, she saw it glint in the sunlight.
She
crouched down and parted the grass. The
objects looked like a silver metal sphere, the size of a grapefruit, and it had split
open. Intrigued, Sarah picked it up to study it, turning the sphere around in
her hands. On one side, someone had embossed a row of tiny paw prints. On the
other, strange symbols formed a thin spiral. As she opened the sphere further, a
shower of small brown blobs rained onto the grass below. They reminded Sarah of
cat biscuits, but with one key difference. The blobs were glowing.
She
stood up and called, “Riley, come here a minute, will you?”
Riley
called from the kitchen. “I’m just putting Daniel down for his nap. I’ll out in
a minute.”
Sarah
put the sphere on the picnic table and sat down facing the house. “Whatever
could it be?” she asked, to nobody in particular.
Riley
came out into the garden. He stood on the patio, grimacing at moss pushing its
way up from the cracks in the flagstones. “Now, what do you want?” he said, finally
looking at her. “I promise I’ll mow the lawn in the bit. It’s been too damp to
do it.”
“Never
mind the lawn, come and see what I found in grass. It’s a strange container
with some sort of cat food inside it. Maybe it could explain what happened to Lulu.
Get over here and take a look.”
“Not
right now,” said Riley, his voice trembling. “Sarah, stay where you are. Don’t
look behind you. Walk slowly towards me, without looking back.”
“What’s wrong?” said Sarah. “Why are you looking so worried?”
“Just start walking,” whispered Riley. “There’s a fox, the size of a lion behind you, poking its head out the shed.”
* * *
Read next: Footing the bill
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