The Vain Vampire


Vampire















I really loathe my pointy teeth,
They stick out when I smile,
Thank god I can’t be photographed,
My selfies would be vile.

My skin’s a deathly shade of pale,
My breath would kill a cat,
There’s woodlice living in my cape,
My trousers smell of rat.

My nails are sharp like razors,
My eyes are bloodshot red,
I once was drop-dead gorgeous,
Now women just drop dead.

My jet-black hair is streaked with grey,
My six pack’s disappeared,
The zombies laugh when I walk past,
The werewolves think I’m weird.

So please send your donations,
Support this poor dead freak,
Ten pounds will buy me makeup,
(I only wear Clinique).


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Footing the bill

The strange tale of Mad Annie

Rest in peace